DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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