I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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