im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
