While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
where are you?
Hypothermia
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
