I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
