We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
