Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
