Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Can I color on your dick again?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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