Can Purell be used as lube?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
