I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
