Its about making memories worth repressing
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
