So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
