My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just pee around me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
