Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
