no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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