Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
