'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
