I heard we made out
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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