You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
