I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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