after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
