yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
