You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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