Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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