I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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