Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
