Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Drunk is a universal language darling
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
