i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
