do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
