I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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