I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize