no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
did you just send me my own nude
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
