Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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