Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
