I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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