I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
