U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
