Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
