Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
