Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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