My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
