love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
