Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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