she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
