In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
