remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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