I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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