Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
