I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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