Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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