It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
